John McCain Is Not Funny

Seriously.



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November 5
John McCain is not funny, nor is he president. However, he is a great American and gracious in defeat. The most genuine speeches he gave this election season were the Alfred E. Smith charity roast, and his concession speech. In the former, he lampooned some of the outlandish behavior that is the byproduct of campaign theatrics, and he truly appeared comfortable in his skin. In the latter, he finally spoke as a uniter, harmonizing the message his opponent had been pushing all along. Thanks for the laughs, John. Seriously.

John McCain is not funny, nor is he president.

However, he is a great American and gracious in defeat.

The most genuine speeches he gave this election season were the Alfred E. Smith charity roast, and his concession speech.

In the former, he lampooned some of the outlandish behavior that is the byproduct of campaign theatrics, and he truly appeared comfortable in his skin.

In the latter, he finally spoke as a uniter, harmonizing the message his opponent had been pushing all along.

Thanks for the laughs, John. Seriously.

November 3
“ By the way I’ve been here to Roswell before and I know of the alien landing and I am pleased to announce that I’ve received the alien endorsement, so how can I not win? And I’m proud.

- John McCain 11/3/08

Aliens are threatening the fabric of our democracy. Or ACORN. Whatevs.

John McCain is not funny, and out of this world.
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“ This microphone brought to you by the Democratic National Committee,” he croaked, reprising a stock line.

- John McCain 11/3/08

A plumber never blames his tools, or something.
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Yup. Kind of funny.

He should just be on SNL instead of President.

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Okay. Kind of funny.
October 29
“ My friends,” McCain now tells audiences with a laugh, “we’ve got ‘em right where we want ‘em. The Associated Press: McCain’s GOP support showing more cracks - John McCain 10/29/08
October 26
McCain: KNOCK KNOCK
The American People: Who’s there?
*20 minutes later*
McCain: KNOCK KNOCK
October 24
“ Spending, the conduct of the war in Iraq for years, growth in the size of government, larger than any time since the Great Society, laying a $10 trillion debt on future generations of America, owing $500 billion to China, obviously, failure to both enforce and modernize the [financial] regulatory agencies that were designed for the 1930s and certainly not for the 21st century, failure to address the issue of climate change seriously,” Mr. McCain said in an interview with The Washington Times aboard his campaign plane en route from New Hampshire to Ohio.
“Those are just some of them,” he said with a laugh, chomping into a peanut butter sandwich as a few campaign aides in his midair office joined in the laughter.

- John McCain 10/23/08

He then chewed out a low-level staffer for forgetting to cut off the crust of the PBJ, and for politely pointing out that McCain had voted with President Bush 90% of the time.

Not funny.
October 17
McCain on Letterman

“I haven’t had this much fun since my last interrogation…”

Not funny.
October 16

Still not funny.

Okay, maybe a little bit funny.